first entry is usually very random...

I didn't smoke this morning when i woke up. I usually do. It's more like a routine than an urge. Like a morning ritual. Coffee... one of my best friends. I am sure I would offend a couple of people if i say shrigs and coffee are my two bestest friends. First one is trying to kill me and the latter is trying to make me feel enthusiastic about it... really great friends :D 

so how did i start smoking? like anything else... curiosity. Curiosity does kills the cat, doesn't it? :) then it became a refuge. a constant companion when no one is there. and it is very often. Call it addiction if you will. Hooked. It is not healthy... in fact i know it is fatal to me and everyone around me. so why? coz i am stupid :p when you know it is wrong and you do it anyway, it is stupidity. but i used to say, well i still do, boring ang life kung di mag-abusar ug ginagmay. well it's just me... hehe

so today i didn't have my morning shrig. but it doesn't mean tomorrow i won't. and i am pretty sure after lunch i will. haha u may think i am proud of myself now but i am certainly not. i still hide when i smoke. coz i hate questioning eyes and i hate interviews like why do you smoke? when did you start? OMG! you smoke? and some just smirks :p but anyway there are those who look at me with admiration like Oh my God she smokes... that's kind of stupid coz how can you admire someone who is killing herself? smoking is bad! it is bad people. and i should be listening to myself. hehe so why write this blog when i still hide? ummmm i am not very sure... mebbe for the simple reason of needing to get out there. and be open for some help i gez. 

so till my next posting... and hope someone reads this coz it wud be such a waste if no one does... :p haha *texting friends*